Is beauty really in the eye of the beholder?

So I want to start with a preface. Ladies, I’m a dude, so I’m going to think like a dude. This is also my blog, or my “nest of trust” if you will, so I’m allowed to let my thoughts ramble and hope that you will still follow along. Also, fellas, I’m still the same Sandy, so disregard some of the weird habits I have ok? Yes Bacardi Lemon is a great drink, yes I think musicals are highly entertaining, and so what if I consider my GQ my second Bible? I’m sure Jesus wore some pretty stylish togas back in his day. But hey just follow along.

It was 80 degrees today so I started my morning with my usual 2.3 mile run outside which ends at my gym. I was the only one in the gym at the time and came to realize that some twit left one of the TVs on, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Public places are meant to be maintained, and it starts with us! Side note – please don’t take your kids to the gym, it’s not a daycare and the machines are not playhouses.

So the TV was tuned into the Regis and Kelly show, which is a pleasant surprise, cause we all hope our wives, or future wives, turn into the blossom that is Kelly Ripa. So I made sure there was no sign of another dude walking in, and sheepishly turned the TV my direction and placed my earphones back in so that if a dude were to walk in, I’d pretend that I wasn’t watching. Sneaky, I know.

Regis was not on the show this morning, and replacing him was Neil Patrick Harris. Double-Whammy! I’m a huge fan of Harris, and for those of you who still haven’t seen How I met your Mother, you really need to, because it truly is Lengen… (wait for it)… Dary!

I was thinking to myself, what a great show, the hilarious Neil Patrick Harris (who was also the style guy in last month’s GQ), and the stunning Kelly Ripa. But wait there was more! Their guest star was the academy award winning Jamie Foxx, who is hands down one of the most talented men on the planet. It really is not fair that this guy has humor, style, charisma and a phenomenal musical talent, all at his fingertips. Blame it on the alcohol? Probably not, but I can’t wait for the Soloist.

So there the three of them are, Ripa in a stunning black cocktail dress, Doogie in his very tailored, crisp suit (which screw Men’s Wearhouse by the way; tight, tailored suits look great) and Foxx in a weird sweater-zip-up-combo that seemed confusing, but hey, he’s Jamie Foxx and he can pull of anything!

Next enters Maxim’s new favorite star, Ali Larter! Yes, the little girl from every guys favorite inspirational movie, Remember the Titans, who then evolved into the gorgeous girl on Heroes. Remember fellas that Larter was also the whip-cream girl on Varsity Blues. Could this show possibly get any better?

Amazingly, it really did. Ripa was talking about her recent Halloween costume in which she dressed up as Pamela Anderson. Now guys, I mean no disrespect to Anderson at all. Yes I’m a huge fan and I share the same sentiment, she is a goddess. But hey, Ripa showed the crowd a picture of herself in a very real Pamela Anderson costume which I’m sorry to say she pulled off extremely well, perhaps even better than Anderson herself.

Now don’t get me wrong, Anderson is probably the most famous woman on the planet, to the male population, and I’m not surprised if God receives thousands of thank you prayers from men and boys all across the globe on a daily basis. But I’m just saying, Ripa is gorgeous and with Anderson’s very fake attributes, Ripa’s aura just reached out of the TV and back handed me.

By this point there was an older man who was on a treadmill watching Sportcenter but giving me dirty looks because the volume on the Regis and Kelly show was probably a little too loud.

Now as I was thinking about this super human formation of Ripa and Anderson, I was drawn to a conversation I had with Pamela a few nights ago. She was at a Mary Kay party, which I think is a ridiculous idea. So what, girls can get together, get tipsy and play princess while spending money on yet another product? Come on guys, where’s our version? Can you imagine a bunch of us getting together and getting sloshed while playing with new paintball accessories? Or while the girls are doing a pottery barn ordeal, we’re together testing out new bar accessories? Geez, why have we still not come up with something similar?

So anyways, our conversation was about where the line should be drawn when it comes to wearing make-up. You know, when exactly is it too much make-up, and when is it time to say out loud, “is it really Susan Boyle impersonation day?”

Sadly, I don’t have an answer. I do think it could be a cultural thing though, as American women start putting on make up when they’re seven. You know, the year after they’re already wearing mini skirts and playing with their Coach Bags and texting their boyfriend Jack about their next game of footsie.

I think other cultures really lay off on the make-up ordeal and really develop the natural beauty till they start their careers. I might be completely wrong though, but it’s just a thought. I mean how many American girls do we really know that don’t put make-up on every single morning? It’s just something to think about.

And fellas, don’t let that whole nightmare of scoring with the hottest girl at the bar beat you in the butt the next morning when you wake up next to a ghost. Before you buy that ring, make sure you love her in the morning before she’s all dolled up, or you will be in for a very shocking surprise my friends. On that note, have a pleasant day.